for Jessica, Josiah and Me

I found this on the old rec.arts.poems newsgroup, which is evidently archived by Google these days. I wrote it back in ’96, when both my son Josiah and Jessica Dubroff, who died while trying to become the youngest person to fly an aircraft solo, were seven years old. Josiah, now 22, has recently started his second four-year tour in the Marines.

if not for the blinding sunlight
I could see her
high above the clouds
but there was no sun that day —
only a cold driving rain
and a dark heavy sky.
all that’s left
is this long-winded mantra
that she was destined to fly
that to deny her
was the ultimate cruelty.
and so she flew
and I wait for the rain
to wash the blue-eyed dream
from my outstretched hands.