tuesday twitters

“hey baby,” she purred, unbuttoning her blouse, “this is no time to twitter.”
is it still the longest day of the year if it rains all day?
Jesus loves me so much I am going to hell without him
alas Madonna of the Wasps doesn’t recognize me
I’m not 100% certain but I think my doctor and I are engaged
urban birdwatchers of the world unite!
hours before the wedding a rat scurries across the hotel parking lot
two days before the wedding I startle awake speaking nonsense
on her cell phone the pout heard ’round the world
summer haze “it depends upon how you define ’single’” she says
late train I’m the drunk no one wants to sit next to
late night two twenty-somethings make out while the train passes by
sitting next to a pregnant woman I can’t finish my crossword puzzle
not sure who sneezed or why the hell i said “god bless you”
if I offer her my seat do I have to get up?
upwardly mobile commuter mouthing podcasted affirmations to nobody
feigning sleep so the beggar won’t get my last dime
another day at the legless shoe factory
trophy wife at his side he reads his Wall Street Journal
no for the thousandth time I don’t care what’s on your iPod
train running late a red squirrel falls out of the tree