toast

drunk before noon
I filled a plastic cup of my favorite poison
and waited.
a lizard told me
how much money I could save
by switching my auto insurance.
swarms of beautiful people
in love with other beautiful people
drank light beer
while listening to fashionable music.
and then the soldiers marched in
before banners, a screaming crowd
and me in my bathrobe.
I remember raising my cup
and declaring
“I salute you, brave gladiators!”
but instead I shouted
“I hate you, overpaid crybabies!”