(never) too much caffeine

I am slowly digesting myself
in an ever-tightening
recursive loop.
The fluorescent lights
hum and shimmer
in patterns
only I can see.
I am running out of space
in this cubicle I call home.
I am losing my perspective
in a haze of recycled air.
I am afraid
of being utterly fearless
of being unable to retreat
from the ledge
from any semblance
of common ground.
I am doing this
because there isn't enough love
at the bottom of a cup.
I am doing this
because it hurts too much
to say goodbye.